How to Start Unapologetically Loving Yourself

When we were born our bodies were seen as perfect! No matter how many chubby rolls we had, everyone around us was celebrating our precious life. Somewhere shortly after that, society, the people around us, and the media taught us that we weren’t skinny enough, or we were too skinny. Not muscular enough, and too muscular. Boobs were too big or too small. Same goes for our bums. There’s no way to win.

The thing is, there is no definition of beauty because each one of us defines beauty differently. There’s no right or wrong. Maybe you prefer a small slim frame or maybe you prefer to embrace the curves. Maybe you prefer pale porcelain skin, maybe you prefer a golden glow. What one of us thinks is attractive the other may not agree. And the thing is, it DOESN’T MATTER. The only opinion that matters is yours. You are living inside your body and it’s time you give yourself permission to LOVE it, head to toe.

Become Willing and Take Action 

If you want to learn to love yourself, you have to be ready to love yourself. If you have a bad attitude about the possibility of loving yourself then it won’t get any easier. Once you are willing and have made the decision to work on loving yourself then it becomes easier to decide what action feels right to you. When I say take action, I mean do the things that are going to help you love to yourself more. *ahem* if that means getting Botox then great. If that means working out then great! 

I think all parts of our body are beautiful. But if you hate those little lines are your forehead then why would you spend time convincing yourself you love them when you could just do something to feel more confident. I’m not saying everyone needs botox or anything like that. I am the business of helping people feel more confident and if that’s what will help you get there then let’s do it! 

We all know being active can transform our bodies. Fitness is a huge part of my lifestyle and in my experience those who stick with it eventually become addicted. Endorphins are addicting 😉 However, you won’t stick with something you don’t actually like and I think this is why many fall off the boat. Just because your friend is obsessed with CrossFit doesn’t mean you’ll like it. Just because you know Yoga would be good for your back or hips doesn’t mean you like it. So the challenge is trying new things until you find something you like. Try spin, pilates, barre, dance classes, row classes, swim classes! The options are endless. If you give it a fair 2 week shot I’m very certain that eventually you will find something that STICKS! 

Drop the Negative Self Talk

Okay gorgeous, here’s the tough love portion of my talk. If you aren’t willing to change something then you sure as hell shouldn’t complain. Now, I realize that’s easier said than done. But if you aren’t going to make a change at least be KIND to yourself. Here are the rules: 

1. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your daughter or best friend.

2. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your appearance, or skills or whatever it may be it’s okay. Just remind yourself that you are okay, you are perfect. Even if you don’t fully believe it you have to practice letting go of those negative, self harming thoughts. 

If you can follow these two rules you’ll be on your way!

Love Yourself Up 

When someone tells us to make a list of the things we love about ourselves the very first things that come to mind are….well, everything we don’t like. Then making these lists becomes uncomfortable and not very fun. So instead of putting you through that I’m here to give you permission to change the things you don’t like. You don’t HAVE to love your wrinkles if you don’t like them. You don’t have to tell yourself ‘it’s fine they’re natural’ if you think you’d feel better without them..whatever makes YOU feel confident. 

And this is why I love my job. 

The other day a good friend and I were talking about how we actually look better in our 30s than we did in our 20s because we started making skincare a priority. This is what investing in your skin looks like! It is truly remarkable what the right treatments coupled with medical grade skin care for maintenance can do to totally change your skin.

There are plenty of subtle treatments that can provide amazing results; Dysport treatments for wrinkles/fine lines on the forehead and around the eyes, Restylane to the tear troughs for hollow under eyes, Juvederm to enhance and define the lips, and routine use of medical grade skincare and acids. All of these treatments are done tastefully and slowly. The transformation doesn’t always happen overnight, but if you stick with the plan your best self is just right around the corner.

You deserve to feel the best you can in your own skin! 

Even my skin care routine is infused with self love 

If cosmetic treatments don’t feel right to you maybe a good skincare regimen is all you need to start feeling better! My skincare regimen is a staple in my self love. I never go to bed without washing my face! Not only does it feel amazing but it’s just part of my regular skin maintenance and when I have clear glowing skin I feel more confident! One of my favorite at-home skin love treatments is on Sunday nights when I use a Lux Pads and wake up with refreshed skin on Monday morning! I call Lux Pads my facial-in-a-jar because they tighten and brighten overnight. It feels so good to wake up on a Monday morning with bright skin! 

You don’t need 100 products. With religious use of a few good medical grade products you will see a huge change in your skin. Medical grade products contain more potent “active” ingredients and you see more dramatic results much faster than with any drug store or beauty counter product. I am a firm believer in this! 

Be Bold, Be Unique, Be You

There’s nothing better than feeling good in your own body! At the end of the day whatever you do to build that confidence has to be about you and for you. Changing something for someone else won’t bring you satisfaction if you don’t love yourself already. If you are unhappy with something, change it…if you’re not going to change it then learn to love it!!

No matter what you decide, make sure you can love yourself and be happy because we only get one life and we deserve to spend it happy. Our time is limited and its important to always remember to make the most of it by loving ourselves, others, and the life we are given.

Sending lots of love your way! 



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Racquel Frisella

Board Certified Nurse Practitioner & Aesthetic Specialist based in Saint Louis, Missouri

I work as a cosmetic injector and skincare specialist with 12 years of experience in the Aesthetic Industry. I see patients both in-office at Racquel Aesthetics for treatments as well as online for customized, complimentary skincare plans. I focus heavily on preventative and corrective injections, treatments, and skincare.  My career is my passion and I love to help people feel like the very best version of themselves. I am a wife and a mother of 3 beautiful children under the age of 3. I love all things beauty, fashion, and fitness. I am creating this site as a place to share my expertise on beauty, anti-aging, and skin while also giving a glimpse into my lifestyle as a mom, wife and lover of fitness!  


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