To say that life feels tough right now might feel like an understatement. The Covid-19 pandemic has completely flipped the lives of so many people. We’ve felt down in the dumps, understandably so, and maybe also like we’re in a rollercoaster of emotions. It is important that we do what we can to recognize this, FEEL the emotions but also gift ourselves the right mindset to make the best of a not so new, weird and daunting situation. While I completely feel for the stress and anxiety that you may be experiencing I am a true believer that the ONLY person who is responsible for your happiness is you – not your spouse, not your kids, not your career; just YOU and you alone.
Happiness is a choice, and at times it’s a hard one but it is so important. There are parts of your life that contribute to happiness (career, partner, friends) but it is your mentality behind them that really counts. You ultimately get to choose your partner, career, and life and if you want it to contribute to your happiness you have to be selfish. Respect yourself enough to choose you and your needs. Let’s break down where you can break through and how you can choose happiness.
Get To Know Yourself
“How am I feeling?”, “What do I need today?” Do you ask yourself this ever? Checking in with yourself and knowing where you are at mentally, physically and spiritually is so important in making yourself real happy, not just telling people you are happy but really real happy! Give yourself 5 minutes (yes I know that seems like a lot of time but just trust me, your brain can accomplish a lot of thoughts in 5 minutes) and let your mind wander through what your life is at this moment. Not what the future brings but what is going on in the present. This is a great exercise to do after the initial hustle and bustle of the morning, maybe when you’re in the car on the way to work. In those few minutes of alone time, check in. How does your body feel today?
A bit of reflection at the end of the night can be powerful as well. Focus on what today has brought and how it made you feel. Take all of this new information and process it. Ask yourself, why did you feel that way, what could be done differently, etc. Really check in, maybe write how you are feeling and figuring out and identify what you can begin to slowly change to help improve your happiness level!
I know it is hard, especially for Moms, but sometimes you are going to have to choose yourself first. Every choice you are making is dictating your own happiness and you deserve to make those choices for you, especially in big life decisions. Do what lights your fire specifically when it comes to your career, ensure that your work is not depleting your mood but is A MOOD! I am giving you permission to set yourself up to thrive and find success in what you love.
Making A Change
Change usually means getting out of your comfort zone, and that can be terrifying. But change also influences the biggest result of growth. We all get comfortable in our routines even when those routines kind of suck. We go through our day to day floating while on repeat and never pursuing dreams. But pushing through that uncomfortable feeling of changes, big or small, can have a massive impact on your day to day life. It can be the difference between reaching your goals and dreaming about them. Maybe you start getting up one hour earlier, or walk to work, or completely leave everything you know to go live in a van and drive across the country. Weirder things have happened and you deserve to live the life you WANT! Set your goals, write down your dreams, set deadlines and breakdown how you are going to get there; it is your time, go and get it. How can you start taking action today?
If you hate your job you have two options, figure out a way to like it or change jobs! It’s that simple but I know it’s not ‘that easy’. If you know for a fact that your job/career is completely draining you ask yourself, “What is step 1 to getting out of this situation?”. Maybe it’s looking for a totally different job to just get you out of the industry, maybe it means finding an online program or night classes to take to increase your education. Chances are it starts with a decision and a google search.
Make A Plan
Are you thinking big things now?!
If you could change one thing, what would it be? What is step one? Now, every dream does not have to become a reality overnight but if you are really passionate about something, it can be done and you deserve to realize that dream!
If your dream is to go on a vacation make a plan for how you are going to start saving now. Calculate how much you need to save and set a time frame, break it down by how much you have to save per month and get yourself there. Usually the breakdown makes it a lot less scary and way more manageable.
Whatever plan you are making, make sure your support system knows what you are working for, just because you are working to make yourself happy does not mean you do not need a support system. They care about you and also want you to be happy!
At the end of the day matters are in your hands, start with being conscious of small choices you are making in your day to day life such as your mood or you reaction to unfavorable situations happening. Are you choosing to let it ruin your entire day or are you able to move past it and continue on creating a happy mood again? This is so important, remember – happiness is a choice and it is YOUR choice.
Obviously not everything can always be about making you happy so sometimes you need to involve your partner, family, kids in the plan. Others need to know why a decision is important to you and what you need them to do to help you get there but also what they need from you while you are getting there. They also have stuff that makes them happy so find a system that satisfies all parties but does not hold anyone back.
In the End, It’s Your Life
You have to be happy with yourself and your life and the choices you are making each day. If you are struggling to be happy or make a change others can help you get there but you can not rely on anyone else for true happiness. Not every change has to be huge, sometimes it can be choosing to make what you want for dinner versus what you know your partner, kids, family wanted. So get to the drawing board and start making it happen!
Do something today that makes you happy!