It is said that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time around. I guess I’m becoming a toddler because I sure do spend a lot of time with my littles! I’m actually not surprised, I eat the food they leave behind, I run around like a little kid and definitely talk like them haha! Jokes aside I think our inner circle, or the people we spend the most time with, truly are the most influential. So how can we control it? How can we surround ourselves with people who will bring out the best version of us? And how can we be a positive influence on others?
Choosing Your Circle
Surrounding yourself with the right company is the key to success! I’m so grateful to work alongside amazing women & providers. They make me laugh, help me when I’m in need, and genuinely care about people. I know this isn’t the case in every office or work space. At work in can be hard to avoid the negative, the “Debby Downer” and the person who is always complaining but that doesn’t mean you should contribute to the negativity. Trust me if you are the person who constantly puts a positive spin on any situation people will stop complaining to you!
Complainers want a response that validates their negativity. They are coming to you, dumping their baggage so they can feel better, and then leaving you with it! Not cool. Try and come back with a warming and optimistic response. Not only will you help them put things into perspective but you’re also not allowing yourself to take on those negative thoughts or emotions. It is not your responsibility to feed into their negativity to make them feel better!
Outside of work there are no excuses not to make your inner circle amazing! Those friends you have that are always there for you, or the people that you feel instantly energized around are ones to hang on to! If they inspire you to be a better version of yourself you should never be jealous but instead grateful for their energy which obviously aligns with yours so well! Take care of these relationships!
If you’re having trouble finding these people in your own life, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone. Try something new, like a new workout class or go to a networking event. It takes time to build adult friendships but when you do they are so valuable!
Strong Women Lift Each Other Up
Now of course your inner circle doesn’t necessarily have to be just women! I feel like the woman to woman bonding can be tricky, especially as adults! It’s not like grade school where you share crayons and swap lunch-box snacks and suddenly you’re best friends. Adult friendships can be difficult to navigate.
If a female in your circle isn’t someone who supports and cheers on other women then she might not be cheering for you behind closed doors either right? Ladies, it’s HARD not to compare, and judge, and assume. It takes work, I totally get that. But it feels SO good when you can be confident enough in yourself to fearlessly support other women without any feelings of doubt or lack. Her success does not mean less for me or you!
So let’s put the time and effort into loving ourselves as well as each other. Spend more time empowering other women instead of tearing them down. And have the confidence to pay someone else a genuine compliment.
Being a Positive Influence to Others
Not everyone is happy and bubbly naturally. I think for those who identify as introverted or are less inclined to make conversation it may feel as though you come off uptight, stressed out etc. I know that doesn’t mean you are! But once you identify with it it can be hard to let go of that identity. I know you’re kind, loving, funny and generous but sometimes that cold front makes it hard for people to see that side of you. Being happy takes practice, even for the happiest of people! Practice practice practice.
Practice Smiling – At strangers in the mall, the grocery store, even when you’re driving!
Practice Speaking Positively – About yourself, others, the weather, your life
Practice Gratitude – Write down 3 things you’re grateful for daily
Practice Affection – Become the ‘hugger’, the person who hugs new people they meet.
The older I get and the more I realize I am in total control of my life & my choices, the more I realize the importance of surrounding myself with positive, motivated, & like-minded people. It gets easier and easier to cut out toxicity and negativity- or people and things that do not add value to my life. It is also important to me that I am a positive light in the lives that I surround.
The law of attraction is real! You attract the energy you put out. So do a quick inventory check in your inner circle, is it serving you? Are you serving them? I’d love to continue to conversation! DM me @racquelfrisella or drop a comment below.
If you want more content about happy relationships check out this blog post – Secrets to a Happy Relationship