Secrets to a Happy Relationship

My 4 Rules for a Happy Relationship

I’ll always make my love and my relationship my #1 priority. This is the foundation of everything in my life. When we had our son it became apparent very quickly that for us to be the best parents for him we had to first make sure we were taking care of ourselves and each other. Under a year and a half later I gave birth to our twin girls and that realization definitely still holds true. Having three kids under 2 is enough to stress anyone to the max so Mommy and Daddy time (no matter what that looks like) HAS to be a priority.

With this blog, I’m sharing my 4 rules for our relationship that keep me happy, honest and madly in love with my husband. I’m not saying our method is the end all be all but it keeps us strong, that’s for sure!

Rule 1: Support Each Other’s Goals and Dreams No Matter What

As much as we are one Sal and I are still two separate humans with different needs, goals, and dreams. There have been plenty of times over the last 10 years where we have come to each other with a dream or idea that at the time seems a little crazy, maybe unnecessary or money consuming. We try and have proactive conversations with each other, playing the devil’s advocate in a gentle way, but at the end of the day, I ALWAYS support his decision and stand by him fiercely. This is why- whether it’s a decision with the kids or a business decision the second I waiver so does everyone else. How can someone else support us if our #1’s don’t? We might not always agree but we always stand by each other and if we fall we help each other stand back up and reflect on lessons learned.

Rule 2: Invest Time in your Marriage.

I mean this one! Take time together. No phones, no kids (when possible). Sal and I try to go on a date every Thursday night. It’s our time to re-connect. Sometimes it’s a fancy dinner and sometimes it’s grabbing a drink at a hole-in-the-wall down the street. The key is to always make time for each other no matter how busy we get or how many babies we have on our hip. Sometimes Thursday rolls around and I’m hesitant to go, you know “Mom guilt”. This especially happens when we don’t have a plan set in stone we just both ‘know’ it’s date night. To help combat this I’ve decided to book reservations ahead of time! I try and book on Monday so that by Thursday we are excited for our date and ready to relax! It’s easy to make any and every excuse not to go, “the house needs to be cleaned, I was away on Tuesday night with clients, we have a dinner party Saturday”. The excuses will undoubtedly come up in both you and your partner’s mind so it’s important to be on the same page that date night is non-negotiable. And I’ll tell you what, we NEVER regret going. Someday when our babies grow up & move on – we don’t want to look at each other and realize we’ve neglected us! Plus, who doesn’t love eating out?

Rule 3: Their Flaws do not Define Them

No matter how long you and your partner dated before you got married there will always be ticks and quirks that you may have either not noticed in the beginning or you were too busy in the honeymoon phase to care that now…well they tend to drive you a bit more crazy. If we focus on these ‘flaws’ they will be the only thing you notice and that leads to resentment really quickly which is a dangerous place to be. We have to remind ourselves that these habits are one very small portion of what makes up a beautiful, loving, amazing and kind human who we are sharing our life with. I empower you to keep your heart open, keep forgiving so you can keep falling in love with your partner over again. Separate the flaw from the soul. Of course, I say this within reason.

Rule 4: Communication

Neither Sal or I are very good at hiding our emotions and we are pretty intune with each other, enough to know when something is up. In the beginning, we would each internalize things, thinking it would be better for the other person if we just handled it ourselves. But being open and talking about any frustrations we have ALWAYS serves us better. Often times it’s a simple misunderstanding, and more often than not the other person understands the problem whether it has to do with them or just something going on at work. We work through things together and get to know each other more and more all the time.
racquel frisella and her husband

Marriage or any relationship takes work. Just like anything else great in life you get out what you put into it. I feel so grateful to have a partner who takes as much pride in our relationship as I do. The stability and strength I find through my marriage allows me to succeed in other areas of my life, like as a mama and a professional. Together, we win!

Ultimately I try and remember this; have fun, never stop dating your spouse, and always put your marriage first. My marriage is my #1 priority. I want my babies to grow up seeing a loving, happy marriage and to learn the right way to treat their spouse someday. So go on dates, have some fun, communicate and take care of each other.

xo
Racquel

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Racquel Frisella

Board Certified Nurse Practitioner & Aesthetic Specialist based in Saint Louis, Missouri

I work as a cosmetic injector and skincare specialist with 10 years of experience in the Aesthetic Industry. I see patients both in-office at Nayak Plastic Surgery & Avani Derm Spa for treatments as well as online for customized, complimentary skincare plans. I focus heavily on preventative and corrective injections, treatments, and skincare.  My career is my passion and I love to help people feel like the very best version of themselves. I am a wife and a mother of 3 beautiful children under the age of 3. I love all things beauty, fashion, and fitness. I am creating this site as a place to share my expertise on beauty, anti-aging, and skin while also giving a glimpse into my lifestyle as a mom, wife and lover of fitness!  

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